I ate Cereal mixed with Milo. Sip a cup of coffee. And slept late at 3:30AM. I need to give up my sleep - like I always do - when I'd be taking exams in the morning. But I still managed to get some rest. And usually, 3hours of sleep is enough to refresh my mind. But last night was weird.
Dreaming is rare for me. I only dream after watching Korean Series. Usually, with Lee Min Ho these days *ahem*. Yah, It's true! He even kissed me, not to mention he was my first kiss in my dreams. *kilig*
Study shows that dreaming is the continuation of what you're thinking, or what you've been playing in your mind before you fall asleep.
When I finished studying, and felt confident about the exam tomorrow. I arranged and prepared the things that I'd be needing so that when I woke up, took a bath and eat breakfast, everything is ready. Drinking coffee can keep your heart beating and thus keep you awake because of the caffeine. Since I'm not really a coffee drinker, the caffeine really had an effect for me. It feels like floating, feels nothing, yes! like a zombie! But at least it keeps me from dozing off. When I lay in my bed, what I studied is still playing inside my mind. I reviewed everything since I can't sleep!
In my dream:
I was running upstairs. Out of breath. When I'm on the first floor, I saw students on a line. They were shouting at me because I lined in front, when its supposed to be at the back - first come first serve. But of course! I don't know what I was doing so I keep on running. And then when I opened the door - I saw all the set-ups and a paper in it was the set of questions, it was the room for the Chem 3M Lab Final Practical Exam. I don't know what to do, it felts wrong yet felts right!
There's some-I-can't-explain-thing that pushes me out in a millisecond, like I teleported, I find myself talking to Anna Marie, explaining the weird things that just happen to me she don't believe me herself. And then, I teleported again, I found myself waiting in a room with my block-mates, waiting for our turn to take the final practical. I saw my block-mates reviewing, so I unzip my bag and get my outline. I saw a paper just beside, I don't know what it is, so i opened it and read the printed text on top:
Final Practical Questions for Chem 3M
I got rattled, I don't know how it came into my bag. It felts wrong, so I didn't dare to read it even though its very tempting. I saw Joyce. She just finished taking the practical exam. She saw me holding the paper. She snap it out in my hand and opened it. There's something in her expression that I do not know. "Who's the owner of this reviewer?", she finally said it. I didn't utter a word, trembling. But there's a question playing in my mind, "Why did she think of it as the reviewer? When in fact, she knows that it was the questions that came out in the exam"
I tagged along. Eena, my classmate in HS [I dunno y she's in our school, when she's studying in USC, haha! weird.]. Get the paper out of Joyce hands, and there's the expression again. She tried solving the question but she had a hard time answering it so she return it to Joyce. "I'll help you how to solve it", Joyce said to me. I still tagged along when she tutored me.
The Door in the room, opened widely. I saw a fierce, irritated and angry faces of our professors and lab attendees. One of them said, "We saw a student, came into the exam room, saw the set-ups and draws a questionnaire. Whoever did it will be punished and get expelled!". I was really trembling to death, because I know, that I've been there without any slightest idea and suspiciously saw the questionnaire inside my bag. The one-to-one interrogation started. It's my turn now. I managed to keep an innocent look and a straight face. I survived. The interrogation continued, I can feel the heat in my body and the sweats in my face.
Some of them transferred now to the next room for further investigation. Only one professor left, eyes fiercely when she looked at us one by one. My conscience finally prevail. I stopped myself. The professor said something with her tiger look, my tongue just slip in my mouth. "I did it!, I went to the exam room!". Every eyes turned at me, I looked down. "Yes! I did it, you heard me right!, But I don't know what I was doing there, I just fisave myslend myself doing it without any slightest idea!", I can't stop myself now. I tried to save myself, " I don't know! I don't know what I was doing there". I can't help myself from pulling a piece of paper inside my bag, "I! I don't know how this paper came into my bag either!". Everyone is gossiping, the crowd went wild when I held the paper up. " I really don't know", I can't hold my feeling anymore and finally let the tears out.
The exam resume. The professors brought me into a room. I tried to explain myself, I tried to save myself but I can't help it the evidences were so strong against me. And then, they announced that I'll be expelled from the school, they just give me 3 days to save myself.
I shut the door behind me. I was thinking of my father and my mother. If they'll know about this it would be much difficult for me. I projected the face of my father in my thought, depressed and angry. My mother's face, my grandparents, my sister, my brother, my family and my friends. I am alone and don't know what to do. I went upstairs in the 4th floor [the setting was not in velez, it was in US-JR, in their stair but my dream consider it as velez]. I saw only one person. GOOD. Now I can really let everything out. I shouted as loud as I could. I cried and cried and cried. I know I haven't done anything wrong I get some sort of hypnotized! And then after an hour of weeping, I promised to defend myself cause only I can do it, to stand up for what I believe in and what is the truth. To gather my courage, strength and faith in God. I prayed and fall asleep it was passed 10:00PM when I get home. Everyone is asleep. GOOD.
The next day, I saw my friends. It was Monica [we're not really close in real life] and some of my blockmates and friends at highschool. I talked to them, I don't remember how it started but it turns out that I asked them If they think I could do such things. May-may was already crying, she said she believes in me and then gives me a hug. I talked to Monica, they were some sort of going out somewhere urgent but they were the only alas I have. I was left alone at the side, and then I shouted and cried "Do you really think I could do such thing?" "Do you believe in them?" I shouted many question with the same thought. They saw me crying and went back to hug me and said, "No claudine! We don't know anything! We don't believe you but we don't believe them either! I know you are a good and dignified person. But we cannot do anything, there's evidences and you even said you did it. All we can do now is to root for you to strive harder and save yourself for what has yet to come. You're the only one who knows the answer well to your questions. It is standing for what you believe is the right one. Everything lies in your spirit. Show them that you haven't done anything wrong! It's your battle but we're always here whenever you need us. Just don't forget your family! they maybe angry but they're all at your side. Cause the know you well. And you know yourself well, you know the truth. Have faith in God's power and the truth will be revealed. And if you're lucky enough, God will let you see the "karma" to the person who step on you and made fun of you."
I was really crying hard, really really hard. My spirit liven up tremendously. And I'm ready to face everyone and show them what I really am and who I really am!
"Den! wake up! it's 6:30AM", my cousin KC woke me up (last night I posted a note, just in case the alarm won't work). It was all a dream, I thought it was real. I woke up, sobbing from crying really really hard in my dreams. I'm so proud of myself back there. I wanna dream of what will I do to save myself. But I guess I need to do this in reality. I need to believe that I can. That was my nightmare last night.
Or shall I say a beautiful Dream showing the brave side of me?
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Dear Mama,
Ma, you’ve been a great mother for me and for our family. A
responsible, fun, loving, strong and kind daughter, too. A nice friend
and an AMAZING person. I wanna be like you! :3
Love,
